Oh...Middle School Is Right

So far, in almost every aspect of my experience, this student teaching placement feels almost exactly the opposite of my first experience in 4th grade. I haven't felt welcomed at the school by the staff, my cooperating teacher and I don't click as well as my last one did and I often disagree with her instructional strategies, her standpoint about school politics and especially with the way she talks about the students. Finally, the students-they are barely what I expected. You are right, 8th graders seem so much like high school students. Where is the innocence of middle school that I felt? The girls seem so old and the boys so distant. I did spend one class period in a 7th grade classroom and it was more of what I expected middle school to be like. I think it might be that the 8th graders in my school are the kings and queens of the school and act like it.

Ok, so it isn't all bad. I am still in a school and I get to teach really great content-U.S. History. I love the content. The planning seems like a breeze so far. I have to teach the same thing four times a day-which means I get to practice and practice, but plan only once. I do teach a homeroom and a 6th grade Language Arts class, but it hardly feels like the work load and preparation my fourth grade classroom was. But it is already quite monotonous-especially when I have to sit and observe the lesson and not lead it. I enjoy not having to hyper-manage transition times: no hand washing guidance, no potty breaks, no breaks or recess or lunch help and they certainly are not silent in the hallways.

I know I have to keep an open mind-this is only week two. But I cried today. (Thankfully after all the students left for the day.) I taught 7th period and I have some really difficult students. There are two girls, who do not seem interested in learning-in the least-and I tried to get them to stay on task. I got a little too confrontational with them after my attempts at connecting with them failed. They were rude, didn't listen, and yelled in my face. I was trying to stay strong and consistent on my first day of teaching with them to show them that I am about learning and not social hour-and it blew up in my face. I cried because I don't know how to connect with these girls. They are the ones I feel need guidance and a role model the most, but turn away at any glimpse of adult attention or direction it seems. They want to push buttons, I want to use humor and motivation to keep students engaged and focused on the task at hand. But as my husband said-this is my free ticket to try out my ideas and strategies-and it isn't always going to work. I will keep smiling, work on keeping the students engaged and try not take negative interactions with students so harshly.